Who are you, Russ Merva, and what did the gays ever do to you?

Russ Merva holds up a "Yes On 8" sign as a bus emblazoned with "Vote No On Prop 8" passes in Sacramento, Calif., Monday, Nov. 3, 2008. Both sides of Proposition 8, were out the day before Tuesday's election trying to drum up support. If approved, Prop. 8 would change California's constitution to ban same-sex marriage.(AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli)

The AP picture above ran in a lot of newspapers on Thursday after Proposition 8 in California passed. The ballot measure called for an amendment to the State Constitution saying, "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." The measure passed with a 500,000 vote cushion.

Here's my question: WHAT THE FUCK?!

I am so disappointed in California right now. That state has dropped ten notches in my eyes. This is supposed to be the bastion of liberal ideas, the trailblazer of progressive policy. How could they so overwhelmingly pass a bill that annulls the 18,000 same-sex marriages that have occurred in the state since June 17, after the State Supreme Court ruled that gays could marry?

So, Mr. Russ Merva with your yellow "Yes on 8" sign, what do you have to say for yourself? What was it that not only made you vote for such a measure, but actively campaign for it? I don't mean to pick on you, as there were about 5 million other Californians with you on this issue, but you obviously consented to being in this picture by giving your name. You clearly wouldn't mind being a poster-boy against gay rights. 

So what the hell did the gays ever do to you, Russ? What's it matter to you whether Dan and Tom are married or not? I don't tell you you can't marry a woman because it goes against my morals do I? Maybe I should say it's against my morals to have idiot douchebags marry and procreate, so we should prohibit it by amending the constitution. How about that?

Of course, that'd be ridiculous. But no more ridiculous than what your movement managed to get passed. 

I'm gonna take a wild stab at the real reasons you voted for this amendment:

1. You realize that the wheels of social progress are turning, faster and faster, and the social construct you put all your chips into (presumably the church life) is going to look more and more antiquated and stupid. You don't want to look stupid, right? So you fight back against those who would make you look stupid, the more enlightened human beings who accept the realities of the world instead of the gospel from thousands of years ago that isn't relevant or even fully understood. That, and you've always had a thing for fairy tales.
2. You find gay people repulsive because you grew up never seeing any. And like most other people with a tiny little underdeveloped brain, your instincts make you hate what you don't understand.
3. You think "traditional marriage" is actually a real thing, even though your own is in shambles. Perhaps the tradition you're referring to is the get-married-for-the-wrong-reasons-and-being-miserable tradition that so many Americans follow, leading to a ridiculously high divorce rate.
4. This is your issue. You don't go out and picket against people who steal, deceive, and murder. You go out and picket against people who love each other but happen to be of the same gender. To you, this makes perfect sense, somehow.
5. You think it's about evolution. You think, "we were meant to procreate, and same-sex couples can't, so it's wrong." Well, Einstein, does that mean if some crazy person had cut your dick off in a fight, you shouldn't be allowed to marry either? How about that?
6. You heard some smart-sounding person say that it's not government's place to be involved in gay marriage, and it should be up to the faith communities, since marriage is traditionally a religious practice. Of course, you forgot to consider that, well, if government shouldn't be involved in gay marriage, should it be involved in straight marriage? Bah, don't be ridiculous.

I'm sure there are other reasons those 5 million people voted to take away the rights of people who never did them any harm whatsoever. It just hurts my brain to try and come up with them, because they're all SO STUPID. The only smart thing in that picture is what's on the bus: "Unfair, Unnecessary, Wrong."