The Murse Revolution

Recently, I was at a party, and a friend of mine spilled some pasta salad on his neatly pressed khakis. No problem, I have a Tide-To-Go pen for ya. That'll come right out.

A few months ago, my girlfriend's car overheated, and we had to stop at a gas station to peer under the hood. It was night-time. No problem, I have a headlamp!

Just about every single day, I commute to work on the Metro, and some loud-mouth jerk is yapping away on his cell phone about some nonsense. No problem, I'll drown that noise out with my iPod and Shure Sound Isolation headphones. 

Unless the cell phone conversation is really interesting. Then I'll break out the digital voice recorder. Or maybe I'm inspired by some comment to write a poem or plan a blog entry. I have my Moleskine notebook and multiple colors of Pilot pens for that. Or maybe I want to distract myself by defacing an anti-choice advertisement on the train. I have my red Sharpie for that.

Whatever I need, I've got it with me, because I carry a murse. Yes, a man-purse. It's technically called a messenger bag, but let's face it, it's a bag with a strap filled useful things that one carries around daily. It's a purse (or murse). I'm not ashamed of it either. I like to be prepared for things. Why should my being a man preclude having all of these items with me at all times?

Here's a look at the contents of my murse on a typical day: 

Also, you might find my lunch, some mail, sunglesses, a water bottle, ibuprofen, or a camera (not pictured, duh). Of course, what makes my murse much more useful is the fact that I have a tiny Acer netbook that fits in one of the external pockets.

Sadly, men are still uneasy about carrying murses because of their perception as a women's accessory. In this classic Seinfeld episode, Jerry is ridiculed and called a girly man for carrying a "European carry-all" with him instead of a wallet. 

But the episode clearly illustrates that pockets and wallets do not suffice! Poor George starts having back problems because of his enormous wallet, and eventually loses its contents in a gust of wind. If he'd had a murse, he would never have had such problems.

Why should women have all the fun and convenience of being able to carry a book or a handheld videogame or a sock full of nickels at all times? It's unfair. Downright sexist. So I hope that the murse revolution is coming.

Thoughts on the Recession

Did you know there's a recession going on?! Of course you did. Even if your job hasn't been affected at all, you noticed, because it's everywhere. I noticed too. Here are some of the things I find interesting:

+ Most marketing and advertising is still as shameless as ever: It seems like every tv commercial and internet ad out at the moment mentions the "tough economy" in some way or another. They emphasize that, in these tough times, it's important to be wise with your money, so you really should buy ABC insurance or XYZ pickup truck. We're supposed to be bailing out these jerks? They have jobs. Could they be any more insincere in their advertising?

+ To be fair, there are a few examples of companies behaving well: I saw a commercial that said Hyundai is selling their cars with a guarantee that if you lose your job in the next year, you can return it. That sounds like a winner of a proposal to me. The company looks good, like it cares. Not that I'm in the market for a car, but it makes me more likely to buy Korean.

+ I thought I noticed a change in retail service. It looked like service was getting better, with people working just a little harder so they're not the next one to be laid off. Then I got really crappy service at Eggspectations, and kicked some dirt on my theory. Still, I'm very curious to see if, as the unemployment rate increases, people will start taking their jobs more seriously. I recognize that there will always be the odd jerk out there serving you coffee with a scowl to whom you'd like to say, "Hey, I ALSO worked all day." Hopefully now there'll be less of them.

+ Partisanship is alive and well in Washington. I don't think it's Obama's fault. Republicans need to come up with some idea that is not tax cuts. They also need to drop the hypocritical cries for less government. I wish there were more sane Republicans for Democrats to reach out to, but it seems they've all been replaced by Democrats, and we're left with the radicals that come from the reddest of red states.

+ You know what would be great for the country right now? If those AIG execs who got the money just voluntarily gave back their bonuses. If ever there was a chance to cash in on changing the public's opinion of the financial system, it is now. They don't need that money! They're rich folks. And it's not like they're giving it away. They ARE buying something by giving the money back: public backing, the good will of a nation. AIG is toxic now. I doubt they did anything that was at all uncommon in the industry, but it's extremely popular to harp on bonus-giving at the moment, on both the right and the left. It won't do any good if they're forced to give it back. It has to be a grand gesture of voluntary support for a nation in need of such grand gestures from everyone, not just the president. That's what change is, people!

It's an interesting point in our nation's history. I'm not satisfied with the news we get from traditional sources; it's just too narrow in scope, I think. I hope the internet cultivates some bigger, more radical ideas for charting the course of the nation's and world's future. But I'm not holding my breath.

Sleep Apneopoly?

I went to the doctor's office the other day to see if I could get tested for sleep apnea. I'm almost certain I have it. It's an annoying sleep disorder that makes me stop breathing in the middle of the night, then have a jolt as my body panics from lack of oxygen. It makes it so my sleep isn't as restful as it should be. Everyone who's slept near me says I have it. 

The appointment started with answering what seemed like hundreds of versions of the same two questions on a handheld computing device from the '80s (do you get sleepy a lot during the day? do you snore or stop breathing a lot in your sleep?). Then, another lady and I watched a 19-minute educational video (that's VHS) about sleep apnea, complete with overly dramatic re-enactments and testimonials. This other lady had it bad. Her regular breathing sounded like the average person's snores after a night of heavy drinking. She actually fell asleep during the video, which I found hilariously appropriate. 

After the video, the lady in charge (I don't know what she was, a nurse, a technician, a specialist, but not a doctor) came in and gave a spiel about treatment options. There's surgery, a mouthpiece, or the dreaded CPAP machine. This doesn't include behavioral changes like weight loss, restricting alcohol intake, and sleeping on your side. So, to my surprise, most insurance, including my own, does not cover surgery or the dental piece, because they are not proven to be effective, but they do cover the CPAP machine, because it's a sure thing, or so the nice lady said. It costs about $600, not including the recommended humidifier attachment before insurance.

So nice lady took snore-breath lady to another room to talk individually, and I was left to wait. In the room where I was waiting, I noticed that all the posters on the walls, all the pamphlets, and all of the devices laid out had the logo "ResMed" on them. This is the company that makes the CPAP machine. I don't like being marketed to in my doctor's office. It seems like there should be no place for that when my health is at stake. It seems this is too much to ask, though. When I got my turn with the nice lady, she told me I'd be scheduled for a sleep study, and that my insurance would cover the breathing machine if I needed it. So that was that. I left the doc's.

Now, something does not sit right with me about this whole CPAP machine thing. The lady who saw me seemed more sales rep than medical professional. All the obvious branding and single choice of CPAP brand set off my corporate bloodsucker alarm. The fact that insurance companies don't cover the options that don't involve selling me an expensive machine just because the other options aren't proven to work made me more dubious. Doctors hand out stuff that they're not sure will work all the time. That's like half their job. Trial and error.

So, don't get me wrong. I'm gonna try it. None of the cost comes out of my pockets, and the potential benefit of getting a completely restful night's sleep for the first time in my life is pretty appealing. I'm definitely NOT excited about sleeping with an ugly, uncomfortable-looking mask on my face every night for the rest of my life (especially since I'm an avid cuddler ... TMI?). I'm just concerned at another possible example of insurance and medical supply companies treating me with the most profitable method, and not necessarily the best. I can't wait for healthcare reform, man.